Diary

Grateful for everything I have. Always.

The more books I read, my brat-ness reduced. I never appreciated what I had, even though I had more than plenty.

It all changed in college. When you have to live on your own. Do your laundry (or stuff clean-ish clothes back into your wardrobe). Manage expenses. Clean your room. Cook your food.

I am not complaining. I love these chores. I am just saying that while in the comfort of home, I never fathomed the luxury I had.

It seems so kiddish and naïve when people say they are living the toughest life out there because their boss scolded them. Imagine them saying this to someone living on the streets scraping dustbins to find leftover food.

I am not wanting you to be guilty. You or your ancestors have probably worked very hard for this luxurious living. All I am saying is - be grateful. What you have is what someone is dreaming about.

Your terrible job is the dream of the unemployed.

Your house is the dream of the homeless.

Your health is the dream of the ill.

Be grateful.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

Ishan

You'd call me a dimwit if I suggest you trust people unconditionally. We are not living in an era of good faith. Everybody is trying to scam and lie to everybody – even their closest family and friends. There are too many bad actors out there and loyalty and morality seldom exist.

While that is true, I still ask you to trust.

I, for one, have been scammed and used several times. By people that I thought were my closest. Not just money-wise, but also I used to get contacted only when I could provide them with some form of assistance, whether directly or indirectly.

I let it pass countless times. And then, one day, I stopped helping completely. I was too hurt to go through trusting people again. I turned a blind eye, even to the ones who genuinely needed help.

They don't deserve this. And they have brought this upon themselves. I owe nobody anything.

I certainly understand why I bent that way.

But – how shitty life will become if you can trust no one. You will look everyone in the eyes with a sense of doubt. You'll always doubt them. And so, you will never be able to establish deep relations with them.

School friendships often last till the end of time. That is because when you were a kiddo, you trusted other kiddos you met. None of you had any evil intentions or ulterior motives. And that is why those relationships run deep.

As you grew up, people became more complicated. In the game of life, they became two-faced. And betrayals prevailed. And now all interpersonal relationships you form are shallow.

My argument is – Practice the naïve act of trusting. Deep relations can be built only and only on pure and unconditional trust. So trust. And have the courage to be deceived 9 of 10 times. In this process, you may lose a few thousand rupees. But when it will work once out of the 10 times, you'd gain a real friend. You would gain an interpersonal relationship that runs deep. And baby, that thing is priceless.

And don't get upset with the deceiving. You did not lose anything valuable anyway.

Until next time,
Ishan

Most people out there buy overly expensive things to make a statement – "I can afford this better than you". They buy very, very expensive bags with negligible utility for two lakh rupees and shoes for one lakh rupees.

To be honest, if I had that much to spare, I would rather donate.

I know someone who lost her husband in an accident. Her husband was an engineer in a company. Debts increased. Now she works as a house help to make ends meet and her daughter is diligently studying to get admission to a medical college.

That much money has the power to pull families out of poverty. And honestly, no handbag can match the amount of joy and satisfaction of pulling someone out of poverty. But what do I know about fashion – I have 13 solid T-shirts – same SKU – Navy Blue.

I am not saying don't spend on luxuries. Do – you have (probably) worked hard for it. Just don't do it if it is to bloat your superiority complex.

That brings me to a position where I can justify the title.

Superiority complex comes in various shapes and sizes – Buying expensive stuff so you can show off in front of everyone, pretending to be busy, acting like the world cannot run without you, boasting about something unnecessarily and completely unasked, etc.

All of this is done to look bigger. They are essentially living to impress others. They are living according to other people's value systems.

The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.

They always have a sense of inferiority towards their social stance in others' eyes. And so they do stuff that makes them feel bigger (or superior).

Or so to say –

⁠The mountain is "superior complex", its base is "sense of inferiority".

Till mid-2018, I never read any novels. I hated reading. I did not have the patience to sit around for hours to discover how the plot will thicken.

Until I found a book that changed my perspective on life. It was my first book, and the best I have ever read. Time and again – I go back to reading it, and every time, I understand it differently.

It's called Unposted Letter by Mahatria Ra. What a book, wow!

And from then on – I have never stopped reading, and my bookshelf now has more books than crap!

Everybody should read – it is one of the greater joys available to mankind. Movies make it too easy to visualize, but books – books make you interpret everything by yourself. And so unlocks parts of the brain that are yet unused.

Until next time,
Ishan

The toughest thing I have ever done in my life is pausing my dream.

I left everything wise to follow my heart – in a hope that I'd be enough – that my pursuit and passion will turn the tables – that my vision will make me an unstoppable genius.

IRL, that's not how it works (lil kiddo ishan sad). It's not enough. There are a hundred more stars that need to align. And they are not in your control. I never believed in luck, until I saw how prevalent it was.

You need to set a stop loss though, in case you are in the wrong direction. You need to know when to stop. You need to know when to stop believing your heart. Deciding where to draw the line is tough.

For you can go on believing in your vision, disregarding what everyone (and sometimes even you) say, and finally make it, and become the genius who never stopped.

Or you can go on believing in your vision, disregarding what everyone (and sometimes even you) say, never make it, and become the nincompoop who never stopped.

Razor-thin line.

The family has taken enough. I need to pay some bills and be responsible. I need to pull my own weight. But I promise you, I am paused. And not over.

Most of all the relatively newly-built hotels I have stayed in have glass walls separating the bedroom and the bathroom.

It is cute and romantic but there's a teeny-tiny flaw – not all who stay in a room together are couples. They can be collegues sharing a room, friends or simply two conference-goers sharing a room to save money.

It should serve both worlds well. It should be practical. Maybe have PDLC Switchable films on those glasses so one has an option to choose between opaque and transparent. Kinda cool tech too.

And if the power goes out, PDLC will stay opaque!

Hah – how funny content writing is – started with a rant on hotel rooms, ended with pitching PDLC.

I am not a fan of social media, I seldom browse it.

I hate how Instagram has made everyone insecure validation-seeking morons. They do stuff not for themselves, but for their social network and digital mirage.

"It should look like I am having the time of my life, like I am living the best life any creature has ever lived" – is what always runs through their minds.

"I will post pictures of a stupid trip I took for the next three years now." – and come stupid #throwback posts for the next 36 months.

The phone eats first.

They go to "Instagrammable cafés" with shitty taste but at-par plating and ambience. All of them are heads-down in their phone, watching some random reels whilst having a 5-seconds attention span. They don't even speak with each other. And when food comes, they click its pictures from a hundred different angles and post to their Instagram with the caption "Best food + best friends = best time". Then they eat. Refreshing their notifications every 10 seconds, to see if people like them and their life.

What happened to the good old hanging out with friends? Discussing books, politics and life, while maintaining a (now exotic) eye contact – all phones in pockets.

My problem is not with people using social media to share their life with their loved ones, it is with people faking an alternate life online, just to seek validation from equally fake people.

I thought it would be cute to verify myself on my diary entries. So there you go, we have a red tick near my name now. Now my fans need not worry if I am real :P.

P.s. It costed me 4 lines of code and an auto-deploy. And not $8/mo.

All those who know me really well - know that I am very emotional when it comes to people. I will not overly express it, but they know I will always have their back in the toughest of times. I would sell all my things to help them out, if it comes to that. I don't like materialism anyways.

This goes as long as they are not using me - for fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three. And then there's no going back.

First entry amongst definitely many. Here I write my notes on everything. Mostly life and thoughts, sometimes tech. All of them blatantly unfiltered and honest. Views may change all the time. Don't make them a source for wisdom, they totally are not. Or maybe. That's for you to decide. So expect writings to have some grammatical errors and plenty of heart.

⁠Until next time,
Ishan